Dear Judith Wallerstein,

Today I am starting to reread your book "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce". I first stumbled upon your book three years ago after I moved from my parents house and started to attended a university. I was enrolled in a intro psychology course and did a term paper on the effects of the divorce on children. Also your book was a recommended text for another class I was taking at the same time. I was drawn to the material like magnet and I was compelled to read your book. I picked it up and devoured it.

For one of the first times in my life I felt like I wasn't abnormal. I started to see a pattern in the stories that I read, heard form my friends, and from my own experience. It was kinda of shocking to me in the moment. I was bothered by the research. I was upset and pushed it away from my mind. I wasn't ready to deal with my anxieties and fears but I had no choice. Life was still moving on and I had to go with it.

For the next few years I began an awakening. After leaving my family and being introduced to many people who did not come from divorced families I began to see that what I experienced as a child was very different compared with many of my peers. I was discovering a whole new side of my self I have never been aware of. Your book provide a key to a door that I kept locked.

Now that the door is open I have to go in. Into a deep dark cave that I have avoided for years. However since life has moved forward and gained the support from my friends, church, and others I have realized that I need to face my fears. I need to step into the darkness to find the light.

I am rereading that book in hopes to make sense of myself again. To become more aware so I fight the lies that I have been told and experienced. To be able to communicate effectively and clearly with my friends, family and other people who care about my so that they can understand where I am coming from. Also providing them tools to help to support me and my needs. Lastly to reenforce the hope that is already within me that was created by God.

So why am I writing this blog. I want to publicly express my gratitude to the work that you began many years ago. For working for 25 years on a project that has benefited many people in world. My goal as I reread your book is to record my growth and the process that I am going to go through. I know Judith you will never read my blog, but I felt like I should dedicate a blog to you because you have been a spark in my life that has been used by God for restoration. I recommend anyone who is reading this to blog to read "Unexpected legacy of Divorce". It is a little long but totally worth it.

Dear Heather Anne,

So I realized I haven't blogged in a long time. I have been inspired by my wonderful girlfriend to start again. Today it is her birthday and one of gifts I want to give to her is this blog entry.

Heather Anne so many things have happened in my life since my last blog entry. I really should have kept up with it. I have moved into a house that is themed after my favorite childhood book series. I have lost friends due many things. Some have moved away. Some have died. For some it was healthier to say goodbye for good. For some it was a lack of effort and we just drifted away. I have deepened some of my relationships and they have shown my love and grace that I could have never imagined. Also in the last couple years I gained new friends and one in particular that especially thankful for.

Two years ago our paths flowed into a crazy place called Multnomah Bible college. For two years we lived separate lives in a tiny bubble. We talked a few times, and I am sure I hugged you at least once because I hug ever one. However I did not know you. You were busy with a church plant and being an RA. I found a church called the well. It took a few years but you showed up one sunday. Later you showed up at small group. At the burnside table, things started to change. I am so glad that you decide to come. At this small group I got to know the most wonderful women. I have known since a cold wet October evening after small group that I wanted to share my life with you and you made me the happiest man on the planet when I found out that you wanted to share life with me a few months later. I would have never expected it a few years ago, but I am glad that I realize it now. I know I have told you all these things before but a little birdy told me that words are not nearly has real unless they are written down some where.

Heather you are such a beautiful person and I am blessed to know you. Happy Birthday!